Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
