Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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