Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
