i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
