bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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