She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
