porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize