We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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