I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
