Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
