So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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