Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
