Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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