And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
