I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize