i don't like sucking hair
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I need moral support for this bender
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
