I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
soo... how was my night?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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