i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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