Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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