Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
