I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
