I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so that wasnt chicken after all
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
