Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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