Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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