Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
