He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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