ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
