I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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