I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
