Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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