come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
