I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Boobs are out for the taking
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize