You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize