Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
