you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
