It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
