Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
