is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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