My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
