I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
