OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
