please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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