For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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