You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
