cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
