Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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