Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Drunk is a universal language darling
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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