why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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