so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
