So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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