Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
