covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Randomize
