This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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