Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize