Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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