god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
