Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
