Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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