i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
